In honor of Mother's Day, I've decided to re-post a tribute I did for my mom back in Sept '05.
It is made of deep devotion and of sacrifice and pain,
It is endless and unselfish and enduring come what may
For nothing can destroy it or take that love away . . .
It is patient and forgiving when all others are forsaking,
And it never fails or falters even though the heart is breaking . . .
It believes beyond believing when the world around condemns,
And it glows with all the beauty of the rarest, brightest gems . . .
It is far beyond defining, it defies all explanation,
And it still remains a secret like the mysteries of creation . . .
A many splendoured miracle man cannot understand
And another wondrous evidence of God's tender guiding hand.
~Helen Steiner Rice~
I'll never forget the day I really realized how amazing my mother is and how much of an impact she's had on my life. I was in college taking a class called "The Psychology of Family" (i know interesting right). One of our final project was to do an analysis on the relationship between inherited characteristics from both parents. A part of the assignment required us to list the characteristics we liked & didn't like about ourselves and link them to each of our parents. The more I worked on it, the more I realized that just about every characteristic I liked about myself were things that had always irritated me about my mother.For example, my mother has the ability to adapt to ANY situation. She's very outgoing and naturally friendly. I remember being annoyed everytime I went somewhere with her b/c she could strike up a convo with just about anyone and end up in these long ass conversations where the person was telling her all their business. She wasn't a stranger to sharing her business either. I can never forget the many times she popped me in my mouth for giving her nasty looks as we stood in the cashier line as she shared way too much information. "I gotta get these children something to eat. They walking around here looking pitiful like they aint ate all week" Meanwhile, I'm standing there thinking to myself 'she didnt ask u all that just pay her so we can get the hell out of here'
As I've gotten older, I've been able to really appreciate and acknowledge her for the wonderful job she's done with raising my siblings and I. Don't get me wrong I came up in a 2 parent home. I'm the second of 7 children (5 boys & 2 girls) from the same momma and daddy. My parents got married when they were 17 & 18 years old. In fact, they got married on my father's birthday. Basically at my age they had a full family (or congregation as my mother so often referred to us as). I can't imagine having 1 damn child at this age god forbid trying to manage 7 but she did it. Let me add she did a DAMN good job of it. Sometimes I think 2 good of a job because after my baby brother child turned 18, she nearly lost her mind. I remember her saying "All I know how to do is be a mother and a wife...what am I going to do now?" My answer is and has always been LIVE!
My mom has this phenomenal ability to treat each of us as if we are her only child. People ask me all the time if I'm an only child and they are always surprised when I tell them how big my family is. Because were so young when they started the family, it was almost like we grew up with them. My mother is very quick to let people know her children are and have always been her world. She had this annoying habit of breaking out family pictures (u know the ones that dont belong outside of the house) at the oddest times and in the strangest places. She took us with her EVERYWHERE she went. We had to line up in height order and wait for her if she was shopping or engaged in one of her long conversations. People always complimented her on how well mannered we were. (of course they didnt know she ruled with an IRON FIST and a thick belt)
She ALWAYS made sure we had everything we needed and nothing more. She was (and still is in some ways) old fashioned with her parenting style. We always had dinner as a family and because we were heavily involved with the church (Sun-2 services, Tues, Friday and choir rehearsal on Saturdays) we had family devotion EVERY night. I still remember getting whippings for falling asleep during devotion or for not having a song prepared. Looking back, she spent a lot of time instilling values in each of us that I carry with me to this day. She also had this fascinating (yet very scary) prophetic sense that is so deep yet ridiculously accurate that we encourage her all the time to invest in a phone line and make some real money..lol.. she attributes it to this statement that she so often reminds my siblings and I of "just because they cut the imbilical cord doesnt mean they cut the bond' SHE ALWAYS KNOWS WHEN SOMETHING IS WRONG WHETHER IM IN CHICAGO OR HOUSTON! That has always completely blown my mind.
I'll be in the middle of some serious shit over a thousand miles away and she'll randomly call and ask what's going on. At times when I avoid the call, she'll leave a message telling me either exactly whats going on with me or she'll say I know something is going on right now and u dont want to talk about it right now but just know that I'm praying for you. She's always been like my best friend/mother who I could tell just about anything to. We've had our issues like any mother and son but through it all, she's been right there in my corner encouraging me to pursue my dreams. When I didnt think I had a friend, she's always been there whether in person or spirit assuring me that I can do whatever I put my mind to. Even when she doesnt agree with my choices, she supports me and allows me to learn for myself.
She has a natural warm spirit that draws you into her presence. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY FRIENDS WHO'VE MET HER IMMEDIATELY FALL IN LOVE WITH HER! She's just that kind of person and I love her with every fiber of my being. She always talks about how proud she is of me but right now PROUD isnt a big enough word to explain how I feel about her. A little over a year ago, she and my father separated and she left Chicago and began a brand new life in St. Paul, Minnesota (I know eww for Minnesota) but she is happier than I've ever seen her throughout my whole life. She has her own apartment and has adjusted very well to the city. She has good & bad days like any woman who spent 32 years of her life with the same person but the most important piece is she is happy and growing stronger by the day.
Diane Shirley Brown always encourages others not to wait until people die to give them their roses. Mom, I'm taking your advice and honoring you with this small token of my appreciation for always inspiring me to be bigger by being the brilliant, amazing and phenomenal beam of sunshine that I'm honored to call my mother. THANK YOU MOM AND ALWAYS REMEMBER YOU ARE THE WIND BENEATH MY WINGS AND I LOVE YOU!!!
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