Originally posted 9/11/05
David, Me & Jamal
ok i have to start by saying that yes I am a member of Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity Inc. I crossed those hot ass burning sands on April 21st of 2001 at 4:33:30 am. I was #4 on a line of 5 brothers who remain some of my closest friends. I'm extremely proud of my undergraduate experience as a member of the Notorious Nu Rho Chapter. I've been VERY active with the fraternity serving in various roles on the chapter, district and regional levels. I've recieved many awards for my service including The Depaul University Multicultural Greek Council's distinguished Man of the Year award. My dean/pledge father David Blake and my two pledge sons Jamal are my closest friends. In fact, I recently offered David a percentage of ownership in my company so yea this ALPHA thing is very serious to me. a lot of people have said "i cant see you pledging in a fraternity" and my response is usually "neither did i" i almost didnt think i would after my initial interaction with the chapter.I'll never forget it Oct. 22, 2000 i went to a neophyte party for a new brother in the chapter. i introduced myself to David (he was the chapter president at the time) we had a conversation about my interest in joinin the chapter and he said something that immediately irritated me. he said "u just want to be in my fraternity for what it can give you" i abruptly cut him off and said "Actually I'm going to be successful whether or not i'm a member of your fraternity or not however i'd like to have it as a part of my success and that is why im here" he gave me an odd yet stern look and walked away. the rest of the story is not important to this entry jus know that i later learned that my comment is one of the reason i'm an alpha today.
i provided that background info to help u understand why i have some credibility on the topic. i'm a member of the Alpha East Listserv which is a yahoogroup for brothers to exchange information and basically stay in the loop on alpha happenings on the east coast. overall i've always found it to be useful and quite informative until a few months ago when an email chain started with the subject line of "Homosexuals In Alpha". I was immediately annoyed because the black community has so many other serious pressing issues to be concerned with than Homosexuality. Still i decided to read what was being discussed with the hopes that someone would shut the conversation down. Day after day more brothers joined the dialogue postin homophobic ignorant messages like "how can a gay brother mentor a young male on relationships?" and "we need to figure out how to ban gays from joining the fraternity" come on really? after about a week of this madness i posted to the following message to the listserv
Brothers,
After reading the emails related to this topic overthe last couple of days, I really struggled with whether or not I should address the topic or keep my thoughts to myself. However the more I read the more I'm troubled and therefore feel compelled to share my thoughts. First of all I completely agree with the last post (the brother who spoke about discrimination). I'm also finding it difficult to understand how a brothers sexuality has any relevance to his ability to not only be a good alpha but a damn good brother. My experience as a brother in this fraternity has shown me that being heterosexual is definitly NOT an indicator of a whether or not a brother is going to be a good alpha who is commited to our fraternity and the principles we were founded on. In fact, the following quote which came from the book"Black Greek 101" written by Dr.Walter Kimbrough (who happens to be a well respected Alpha) contradicts most of the arguments presented in this dialogue. In Chapter 6 (The Future of Black Greek Life), he states"My personal observations from my own fraternity conventions, to attendance at National Pan-Hellenic Council meetings, clearly show me numerous homosexual members who seem to be the backbone of organizations, ironically built on traditional sexual roles."
It is my sincere belief that one of the reasons we aren't progressing as an organization is based on the fact that the criteria or "standards" some of us are using to select new members is flawed, and ineffective especially if we're using a brothers sexuality as a significant factor. Having spent more than 8 years in Human Resources including several years in recruiting, I happen to know a little bit about this subject matter. Unfortunatly, society and many of our churches have taught us that being a homosexual is wrong and individuals who happen to be gay should be treated differently. The reality is sexual preference is just that a sexual preference. I understand that this factmight be difficult for some of you to accept because of what you've allowed yourself to believe about the topic. But I'd like to challenge you to look at the big picture as it relates to this fraternity and the topic of homosexuality. Consider the possibility that being gay is only one aspect of a persons total being.It doesnt necessarily define him/her and definitly doesnt determine whether or not he/she is a good person who could and probaly would perform a task as hard if not harder than you. How does that relate to Alpha you might ask? Well being a good alpha based on what i've learned involves many things including but not limited to paying dues, remaining active, performing manly deeds, and using your life to make adifference. I find it pretty sad that many of the brothers who initiate discussions such as this one that take us off the course of doing the work of Alpha, tend not to be active (both physically and financially) and are therefore not contributing to making things better within the frat. Please understand that I'm not saying we should completely ignore sexual preference because it is important factor but it shouldnt be a major factor in the selection process. Quite honestly, I would rather have a gay brother who is gonna roll up his sleeves and do the work of Alpha without the bullshit than to have a straight brother who proudly wears his paraphenia but doesnt attend chapter meetings, doesnt participate int he planning of chapter activities and makes excuses why he cant do the work. At this point, we have enought-shirt wearers who only show up for intake and who arent interested in being an active contributer to our success. I challenge the brothers especially the Membership Intake Chairmen to really look at your selection process and the criteria you are using to measure an aspirants ability to be a part of this powerful, elite and exclusive fraternity. Brothers its time to take Alpha Phi Alpha to the next level. We have been stagnet for too long and now is the time to make a difference especially since we are moving into our 100th year. As an alpha, I've learned not toconcern myself with other peoples opinion of me. Iknow who I am and that's really all that matters at the end of the day. Wrap your brain around the factt hat people are gonna think what they want to think about us (as alphas and as black men) regardless to what we do. Since we cant control people thoughts,lets stop wasting valuable time discussing topics like this that could quite possibly be offensive to a brother who could quite possibly be a chapter president who happens to be gay. Consider the possibility that some of the comments shared throughout this dialogue could be offensive enough for him to stop doing the work of Alpha which would leave a chapter in a pretty bad situation. Im very proud tobe an Alpha and I learned a long time ago that you can only get out of this experience (as an alpha) what you put in. I challenge brothers to start putting in some real work so the world can start reaping the benefits of what this organization is really about.
I said earlier that i was hoping a brother would say something to shut the conversation down but i realized sometimes you gotta take things into your own hands. Shoutout to the Notorious Nu Rho Chapter, my line SS H.H.H. Justin, Melvin, Eric & Antione (who just got married! Congrats Ship) my pledge sons Jamal & Aaron and my pledge dad David.
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