Being Bobby Brown Jr.

A Mother's Love

In honor of Mother's Day, I've decided to re-post a tribute I did for my mom back in Sept '05.

A Mother's love is something that no on can explain,
It is made of deep devotion and of sacrifice and pain,
It is endless and unselfish and enduring come what may
For nothing can destroy it or take that love away . . .
It is patient and forgiving when all others are forsaking,
And it never fails or falters even though the heart is breaking . . .
It believes beyond believing when the world around condemns,
And it glows with all the beauty of the rarest, brightest gems . . .
It is far beyond defining, it defies all explanation,
And it still remains a secret like the mysteries of creation . . .
A many splendoured miracle man cannot understand
And another wondrous evidence of God's tender guiding hand.

~Helen Steiner Rice~

I'll never forget the day I really realized how amazing my mother is and how much of an impact she's had on my life. I was in college taking a class called "The Psychology of Family" (i know interesting right). One of our final project was to do an analysis on the relationship between inherited characteristics from both parents. A part of the assignment required us to list the characteristics we liked & didn't like about ourselves and link them to each of our parents. The more I worked on it, the more I realized that just about every characteristic I liked about myself were things that had always irritated me about my mother.For example, my mother has the ability to adapt to ANY situation. She's very outgoing and naturally friendly. I remember being annoyed everytime I went somewhere with her b/c she could strike up a convo with just about anyone and end up in these long ass conversations where the person was telling her all their business. She wasn't a stranger to sharing her business either. I can never forget the many times she popped me in my mouth for giving her nasty looks as we stood in the cashier line as she shared way too much information. "I gotta get these children something to eat. They walking around here looking pitiful like they aint ate all week" Meanwhile, I'm standing there thinking to myself 'she didnt ask u all that just pay her so we can get the hell out of here'

As I've gotten older, I've been able to really appreciate and acknowledge her for the wonderful job she's done with raising my siblings and I. Don't get me wrong I came up in a 2 parent home. I'm the second of 7 children (5 boys & 2 girls) from the same momma and daddy. My parents got married when they were 17 & 18 years old. In fact, they got married on my father's birthday. Basically at my age they had a full family (or congregation as my mother so often referred to us as). I can't imagine having 1 damn child at this age god forbid trying to manage 7 but she did it. Let me add she did a DAMN good job of it. Sometimes I think 2 good of a job because after my baby brother child turned 18, she nearly lost her mind. I remember her saying "All I know how to do is be a mother and a wife...what am I going to do now?" My answer is and has always been LIVE!

  My mom has this phenomenal ability to treat each of us as if we are her only child. People ask me all the time if I'm an only child and they are always surprised when I tell them how big my family is. Because were so young when they started the family, it was almost like we grew up with them. My mother is very quick to let people know her children are and have always been her world. She had this annoying habit of breaking out family pictures (u know the ones that dont belong outside of the house) at the oddest times and in the strangest places. She took us with her EVERYWHERE she went. We had to line up in height order and wait for her if she was shopping or engaged in one of her long conversations. People always complimented her on how well mannered we were. (of course they didnt know she ruled with an IRON FIST and a thick belt)

She ALWAYS made sure we had everything we needed and nothing more. She was (and still is in some ways) old fashioned with her parenting style. We always had dinner as a family and because we were heavily involved with the church (Sun-2 services, Tues, Friday and choir rehearsal on Saturdays) we had family devotion EVERY night. I still remember getting whippings for falling asleep during devotion or for not having a song prepared. Looking back, she spent a lot of time instilling values in each of us that I carry with me to this day. She also had this fascinating (yet very scary) prophetic sense that is so deep yet ridiculously accurate that we encourage her all the time to invest in a phone line and make some real money..lol.. she attributes it to this statement that she so often reminds my siblings and I of "just because they cut the imbilical cord doesnt mean they cut the bond' SHE ALWAYS KNOWS WHEN SOMETHING IS WRONG WHETHER IM IN CHICAGO OR HOUSTON! That has always completely blown my mind.

I'll be in the middle of some serious shit over a thousand miles away and she'll randomly call and ask what's going on. At times when I avoid the call, she'll leave a message telling me either exactly whats going on with me or she'll say I know something is going on right now and u dont want to talk about it right now but just know that I'm praying for you. She's always been like my best friend/mother who I could tell just about anything to. We've had our issues like any mother and son but through it all, she's been right there in my corner encouraging me to pursue my dreams. When I didnt think I had a friend, she's always been there whether in person or spirit assuring me that I can do whatever I put my mind to. Even when she doesnt agree with my choices, she supports me and allows me to learn for myself.

She has a natural warm spirit that draws you into her presence. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY FRIENDS WHO'VE MET HER IMMEDIATELY FALL IN LOVE WITH HER! She's just that kind of person and I love her with every fiber of my being. She always talks about how proud she is of me but right now PROUD isnt a big enough word to explain how I feel about her. A little over a year ago, she and my father separated and she left Chicago and began a brand new life in St. Paul, Minnesota (I know eww for Minnesota) but she is happier than I've ever seen her throughout my whole life. She has her own apartment and has adjusted very well to the city. She has good & bad days like any woman who spent 32 years of her life with the same person but the most important piece is she is happy and growing stronger by the day.

Diane Shirley Brown always encourages others not to wait until people die to give them their roses. Mom, I'm taking your advice and honoring you with this small token of my appreciation for always inspiring me to be bigger by being the brilliant, amazing and phenomenal beam of sunshine that I'm honored to call my mother. THANK YOU MOM AND ALWAYS REMEMBER YOU ARE THE WIND BENEATH MY WINGS AND I LOVE YOU!!!

5 Powerful Insights That Keep Me Sane

People always ask me how i keep my perspective on life even in the midst of chaos and most of the times i can't explain it. i've gone through some seriously scary shit throughout my 28 years on this earth but one thing that has always kept me grounded is the solid foundation started by my parents and the clear understanding that there is a higher power who dictates how things work in my life. additionally, i rely on a few powerful insights i've learned throughout the years that remain consistent anchors in my journey.

1. No matter what you do, you cannot control peoples thoughts or feelings. I hear people say all the time, "she's gonna think this if i do that or he's gonna think that if i say this" When you wrap your brain around the fact that you can't control what people are gonna think, then you stop living your life based on other people. I live my life without regard to other peoples thoughts and feelings. although it's a process that sometimes yields some challenging results, i can honestly say that overall it has worked to my benefit.

2. Sharing yourself and your experiences with others frees up the space for others the share themselves and their experiences with you. People ask me all the time why i don't mind sharing my life with other people. In fact, there have been times where i've shared too much and ended up wondering if i made the other person feel uncomfortable. What i've learned is that each time i share myself, people find strength within themselves to address things that they might not have had i not shared. the key to this as well as most of the insights is to detach from the results. NO EXPECTATIONS! Anytime i share i dont expect the person to say anything or feel a certain way.

3. In life every single thing happens for a reason. The key is to first GET the lesson and LEARN from it.
Oprah Winfrey says that god always sends lessons. sometimes the lessons come as little whispers and sometimes they come as thunderstorms because we didn't listen to the whispers. i've grown accustomed to getting the thunderstorm lessons because i have a few control issues and most of the time the whispers don't tell me enough. What i've learned (especially after the last storm) is that is not important for me to know the whole story. I'm taking a new approach and making a consicious effort to to listen to the whisper. I know in the long run this will save me a lot of unnecessary headache.

4. Excuses don't change the fact that whatever has happened actually happened.This one is hard for a lot of people because we love excuses. We love to find reasons to justify why we did't do what we said we were going to do or why something happened that we think shouldnt have. i notice people seem to get angry with me when i stop them in the middle of an excuse and tell them im not interested. I've found that its so much easier to take responsibility for whatever consequences that are associated with not being my word and moving on. People tend to respect me more and the time that could have been used to create an excuse is used to do something that adds to making me the best me i can be.

5. Learning to love Bobby Brown Jr for everything that he is and everything that he isn't makes me a better human being.
I spent so much of my life hating myself and everything about me and i didnt realize that by doing that i was basically cursing god for his creation and lashing out at other folks for seeing this wonderful person he created. I had to learn how to accept me for me because if god wanted me to be different he would have made me different. Yes I'm a unique individual but that's what makes me special. Its the reason people come to me on a daily basis and tell me how much i inspire them to be different. its the reason i say what i feel like saying without regard for others opinions of me. and last but not least, its the reason i'm destined for great success but my creator wouldnt have it any other way. and besides if i cant love me for me, how can i expect anybody else too??