Being Bobby Brown Jr.

5 Powerful Insights That Keep Me Sane

People always ask me how i keep my perspective on life even in the midst of chaos and most of the times i can't explain it. i've gone through some seriously scary shit throughout my 28 years on this earth but one thing that has always kept me grounded is the solid foundation started by my parents and the clear understanding that there is a higher power who dictates how things work in my life. additionally, i rely on a few powerful insights i've learned throughout the years that remain consistent anchors in my journey.

1. No matter what you do, you cannot control peoples thoughts or feelings. I hear people say all the time, "she's gonna think this if i do that or he's gonna think that if i say this" When you wrap your brain around the fact that you can't control what people are gonna think, then you stop living your life based on other people. I live my life without regard to other peoples thoughts and feelings. although it's a process that sometimes yields some challenging results, i can honestly say that overall it has worked to my benefit.

2. Sharing yourself and your experiences with others frees up the space for others the share themselves and their experiences with you. People ask me all the time why i don't mind sharing my life with other people. In fact, there have been times where i've shared too much and ended up wondering if i made the other person feel uncomfortable. What i've learned is that each time i share myself, people find strength within themselves to address things that they might not have had i not shared. the key to this as well as most of the insights is to detach from the results. NO EXPECTATIONS! Anytime i share i dont expect the person to say anything or feel a certain way.

3. In life every single thing happens for a reason. The key is to first GET the lesson and LEARN from it.
Oprah Winfrey says that god always sends lessons. sometimes the lessons come as little whispers and sometimes they come as thunderstorms because we didn't listen to the whispers. i've grown accustomed to getting the thunderstorm lessons because i have a few control issues and most of the time the whispers don't tell me enough. What i've learned (especially after the last storm) is that is not important for me to know the whole story. I'm taking a new approach and making a consicious effort to to listen to the whisper. I know in the long run this will save me a lot of unnecessary headache.

4. Excuses don't change the fact that whatever has happened actually happened.This one is hard for a lot of people because we love excuses. We love to find reasons to justify why we did't do what we said we were going to do or why something happened that we think shouldnt have. i notice people seem to get angry with me when i stop them in the middle of an excuse and tell them im not interested. I've found that its so much easier to take responsibility for whatever consequences that are associated with not being my word and moving on. People tend to respect me more and the time that could have been used to create an excuse is used to do something that adds to making me the best me i can be.

5. Learning to love Bobby Brown Jr for everything that he is and everything that he isn't makes me a better human being.
I spent so much of my life hating myself and everything about me and i didnt realize that by doing that i was basically cursing god for his creation and lashing out at other folks for seeing this wonderful person he created. I had to learn how to accept me for me because if god wanted me to be different he would have made me different. Yes I'm a unique individual but that's what makes me special. Its the reason people come to me on a daily basis and tell me how much i inspire them to be different. its the reason i say what i feel like saying without regard for others opinions of me. and last but not least, its the reason i'm destined for great success but my creator wouldnt have it any other way. and besides if i cant love me for me, how can i expect anybody else too??

You Are To Blame For Your Success or Failure

I found this article while doing research and developing my Interviewing Workshop. I thought it was so powerful that it is now a part of the participant guide for candidates who attend my workshop. I'm currently preparing for a workshop I'm scheduled to do at a university in NY on Monday and as I reviewed it again, i thought it would be useful for some of you so here it is. Read it carefully and enjoy!

You Are to Blame for Your Success or Failure (courtesy of careerbuilder.com)

Unless you've been under a rock for the past decade or so, you've heard of the inspirational Chicken Soup for the Soul book series, co-authored by Jack Canfield. In his new book, The Success Principles: How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be, Canfield gives us the secrets to success in all forms of life, including achieving the highest goals possible in your career.

"If you want to be successful, you have to take 100 percent responsibility for everything that you experience in your life," Canfield writes. "This includes the level of your achievements, the results you produce, the quality of your relationships ... everything!"

You must be brutally honest to get the results you want. This means giving yourself a huge reality check. While it might be a bitter pill to swallow, the outcome will be the results you've been searching for. Here are Canfield's fundamentals of success on the job ... and in life

Take 100 percent responsibility for everything.
The fundamental principle of success is taking 100 percent responsibility for your life. One of the most pervasive myths in our culture today is that you are entitled to a great life – that somehow, somewhere, someone is responsible for filling our lives with continual happiness, exciting career options, nurturing family time and blissful personal relationships, simply because we exist. But the truth is there is only one person responsible for the quality of life you live. That person is you.

You have to give up all your excuses, blaming and complaining.
We are conditioned to blame and never want to look at the real problem, ourselves. To be successful, one must give up blaming and complaining. Forget the victim stories, the reasons you can't and your blaming of outside circumstances. Instead ask "How did I create that?" "What did I say or not say?" and "What do I need to do differently next time to get the result I want?"

If you don't like your outcomes, change your responses.
If you keep on doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting the responses you've always gotten. For example, if you send out the same résumé and cover letter to job openings without any response, you should revise them or examine how the jobs you are applying to match up with your skills. If you want something different, you'll have to do something different.

Everything you experience today is the result of choices you have made in the past.
Every experience in your life is the result of how you responded to a previous situation. You have control over three things in your life – your thoughts, images you visualize and your actions. How you use these determines your experiences.

You either create or allow everything that happens to you.
You might disagree with this statement, but Canfield explains, "By create, I mean that you directly cause something to happen by your actions or inactions." For example, you didn't attend any sales or motivational seminars and now the new kid has won a sales award.

Remembering Your Spirit & Exercising Your Mind

One of my mentors told me something about 6 years ago that changed the way i live my life. He said "People spend WAY too much time, energy and money working on their body (via working out, diet, surgery etc) and not enough time, energy and money working on there mind & spirit" Everybody (myself included) is so damn busy that we sometimes dont realize the importance of nurturing our spirit with goodness and exercising this muscle called the mind. I'm not referring to the spirituality craze the media led us to believe was the new phenom, i'm talking about therapy, church, meditation, personal development seminars, self-help books (that have some substance) and for some people like me Kaballah.

Now b4 u allow your mind to wonder away from the topic based on the name Kaballah alone, i encourage you to at least stay with me until i get to my point. Many minorities (especially african americans) have issues with going to therapy (for reasons that can definitely take up another post) and therefore choose to use church as the SOLE source of exercise for their mind & spirit. But what about people like me who were raised (and sexually abused) in church which altered my view of not only church but religion overall? what about people who've tried religion (in it's various forms) and realized its not something that works for them? I could go on and on with different scenarios but ill stop there and ask ARE WE ALL EVIL SINNERS BOUND FOR HELL? HAVE WE NO OPTIONS BUT TO CONTINUE LIVING DAY AFTER DAY HOPING ITS NOT OUR TURN TO JOIN SATAN IN OUR PREDESTINED HOME DOWN BELOW?

Ok im being sarcastic but its hard not to when we have a president that hasnt learned the difference between church & state and i digress...anyway my point is I've learned not to rely on ONE source to keep my mind and spirit healthy. Since as a human being, I'm constantly learning, growing and ultimately changing, I'm always looking for different vehicles/routines to assist with keeping both my mind and spirit strong and positive. One of the things that has worked tremendously for me is Kaballah. NO I havent spent ANY money on the courses (yet but i plan to). About a year ago, I attended a free kaballah lecture in NY (thanx to a STRONG recommendation from my best friend Abby) and found the information shared to be quite useful. I was surprised to learn its NOT a religion! (hmm too bad that not how the media portrays it) I like to explain it as practical technology designed to help you be the best you and live the life you've been given with fulfillment and joy by taking full responsibility for yourself and actions.

As a self professed "on and off again skeptic" I wasnt convinced enough by the lecture to pay money to enroll in one of the courses. However, I did sign up to receive a FREE Weekly Consciousness Tune-Up via email. (basically each week the consciousness Tune-Up presents an issue/belief/habit etc that could be causing chaos/negative karma in your life. It also offers practical solutions to help you either eliminate, change or embrace it.) i know that wasnt the best explanation but maybe it will be more clear after you read an example of what i'm referring to. What I know for sure is that signing up for the consciousness Tune-Up has become one of the BEST decisions i've made in my life. Not only have they helped me gain clarity around how every single one of my actions and how i live my life every day affect the amount of fulfillment and joy i receive but they've taught me a valuable lesson about taking FULL responsibility for my self and how to create the life I want. I'll never forget the title of my first tune-up 'The World Remains The Same' (I've posted a few brief excerpts from that tune-up that will hopefully help u understand why my life hasnt been the same since I started getting them each week).

The most amazing (yet very bizarre) thing about it is that each week the topic speaks ALMOST EXACTLY to where I am. (im referring to my mind and spirit) I've decided to put my own spin on the idea and offer Bobby's Weekly consciousness Tune-Up's to my blog visitors. NO I will not use the information from the Kaballah Tune-Up's. Each tune-up will be practical and hopefully useful to you. I'll also provide a song (with a portion of the lyrics) that will be correlated to the tune-up. (obviously listening to song is not a requirement but a request so make your decision accordingly)

THE DISCLAIMER - THROUGHOUT THIS POST I'VE OFFERED MY OPINION ABOUT A VARIETY OF TOPICS (including religion) PLEASE REMEMBER THAT MY OPINION IS JUST THAT...MY SINGLE OPINION & I'M ENTITLED TO IT. I'M NOT INTERESTED IN YOUR COMMENTARY ABOUT WHY U DISAGREE WITH ME OR WHY I SHOULD CHANGE IT. I DON'T PROFESS TO HAVE ALL THE RIGHT ANSWERS AND I'M NOT COMMITTED TO BEING RIGHT. I DO BELIEVE PEOPLE SHOULD ALWAYS HAVE ALTERNATIVE TOOLS 2 NAVIGATE THROUGH THIS THING CALLED LIFE. IF WHAT YOU ARE DOIN ISN'T WORKIN, I ENCOURAGE YOU TO TRY USING THE MANY TOOLS I'LL OFFER. IF THEY WORK FOR YOU KEEP THEM AND CONSIDER IT A GIFT! IF THEY DON'T WORK FOR YOU THEN BY ALL MEANS DON'T USE THEM! I WONT BE OFFENDED EITHER WAY B/C IM NOT ATTACHED.

As I've said many times throughout this blog I'm committed to using my life and experiences to make a difference. By doing this (the tune-up thing), I'm honoring my part of the agreement I made with the creator. (or god or higher power) I've learned to follow his instructions and he takes care of me so I probally wont know from week to week what the tune-up is until he reveals it to me. Thank you creator for using me as a vessel to share your message.

Kaballah Weekly consciousness Tune-Up Excerpt - Title: The World Remains The Same

Brief Excerpt: The energy this week is all about defying gravity, pushing ourselves to reach for more, to open our sixth sense, to see things we donÂ’t normally perceive. In addition, there are two powerful lessons to embrace this week. The first is our tendency to look only at the bad.

We all do it, right? Think about it - if you saw a bad movie, or had terrible service in a restaurant, or someone did something to you that you didn't like, how many people would you tell? Research shows you'd tell about 35 people. But good news? This is usually spread to far fewer people. It's human nature to be attracted to the bad things. When someone tells you everything is good with them, you say, "That’s nice, I’m happy for you." But if someone tells you something bad, you say, "Really?? Tell me more!!" The thing for you to realize is that whenever you hear about something good, it is being told to you for a reason. The Light is waking you up to new possibilities. Instead of thinking,, ‘Oh, I can never have that or succeed at that,’ try imagining that you are hearing it for a good reason.

Allow yourself to be attracted to the good this week. And don’t just listen, but go check things out. If someone recommends a new exercise or book, look into it. There just might be something in there to help you change your nature.

Who's In Control of The Plan?

for the past 3 months, I’ve had to carefully navigate my way through what has turned out to be the biggest storm of my life. there were definitely periods where I didn’t think I would make it through with my life and/or my sanity. (Yes I seriously contemplated taking my life several times) this experience tested every single fiber of my being and forced me to make some very difficult (and sometimes painful) decisions regarding this thing I call my life. after the eye of the storm hit, i remember sitting alone with myself thinking "this was not part of the plan"

ive lived my life up to this point based around plans. you know the concept..make a plan and execute it and it's worked for me more often than not. yes i've had to make adjustments but overall the plan usually worked. for example, several years ago i was working in a job where i was doin all of the work of a sr. person but not being compensated accordingly. the excuse the manager consistently used was "i can't promote u b/c u dont have a degree" yes i was attendin school part-time pursuing the degree but that wasnt enough..so i put together a plan that allowed me to go to school full-time so that a degree couldnt be used as an excuse. somehow the plan worked (dont ask me how cuz i'm amazed myself when i think about how i worked a full time job as a hr manager, took a full-class load and still managed to run a chapter (yea im an alpha & former chapter president) so i figured dont fix whats working for u...

fast forward to jan 04 - i'm livin in nyc (and lovin it!), workin in a job that i loved, for a company i hated and a salary that didnt even scratch the surface of what i was worth. but i was happy..why? lets start with the fact that i was in LOVE (hmmm that love thang can get u every damn time) and i had a plan...my plan was to quit the job and start my own company. i was fed up with wastin my talents on corporations that will never pay/value me for my worth. for the most part the plan was workin (yes there were a few adjustments but it was workin and again i was happy) around april '04 my plan started comin undone...i felt a storm comin and i tried to brace for it but i was not prepared..i'll spare u the details of everything that happened but i'll give u a little taste...

just for size..try on being physically assaulted, realizing friends who've been a part of your life forever don't bring value to your life anymore, bein so broke u can barely pay attention, being homeless and realizing that the relationship u thought was IT (i mean the one, the only, the end) was it at all and thats just a taste.

I can now say with sincere honesty and assurance that the storm has passed, the sun is shining again, and most of all i got the lesson.

In life, its good to have plans ,in fact i believe having a plan essential for anybody who wants to be successful. However, i believe there are 2 key factors you have to include in the plan to ensure it's effective.

1. Understand that YOU are not in full control of the plan of your life. There is a higher power that has the final say in whether or not your plan will work.

2. Detach from the outcome of the plan so that u wont set yourself up to be upset. What that means in english is make a plan but don't be so attached to the results (with your expectations) that if the plan doesnt work, your world would come crashing down...

It's good to see the sun again....and i'm actually lovin dc thus far