for the past 3 months, I’ve had to carefully navigate my way through what has turned out to be the biggest storm of my life. there were definitely periods where I didn’t think I would make it through with my life and/or my sanity. (Yes I seriously contemplated taking my life several times) this experience tested every single fiber of my being and forced me to make some very difficult (and sometimes painful) decisions regarding this thing I call my life. after the eye of the storm hit, i remember sitting alone with myself thinking "this was not part of the plan"
ive lived my life up to this point based around plans. you know the concept..make a plan and execute it and it's worked for me more often than not. yes i've had to make adjustments but overall the plan usually worked. for example, several years ago i was working in a job where i was doin all of the work of a sr. person but not being compensated accordingly. the excuse the manager consistently used was "i can't promote u b/c u dont have a degree" yes i was attendin school part-time pursuing the degree but that wasnt enough..so i put together a plan that allowed me to go to school full-time so that a degree couldnt be used as an excuse. somehow the plan worked (dont ask me how cuz i'm amazed myself when i think about how i worked a full time job as a hr manager, took a full-class load and still managed to run a chapter (yea im an alpha & former chapter president) so i figured dont fix whats working for u...
fast forward to jan 04 - i'm livin in nyc (and lovin it!), workin in a job that i loved, for a company i hated and a salary that didnt even scratch the surface of what i was worth. but i was happy..why? lets start with the fact that i was in LOVE (hmmm that love thang can get u every damn time) and i had a plan...my plan was to quit the job and start my own company. i was fed up with wastin my talents on corporations that will never pay/value me for my worth. for the most part the plan was workin (yes there were a few adjustments but it was workin and again i was happy) around april '04 my plan started comin undone...i felt a storm comin and i tried to brace for it but i was not prepared..i'll spare u the details of everything that happened but i'll give u a little taste...
just for size..try on being physically assaulted, realizing friends who've been a part of your life forever don't bring value to your life anymore, bein so broke u can barely pay attention, being homeless and realizing that the relationship u thought was IT (i mean the one, the only, the end) was it at all and thats just a taste.
I can now say with sincere honesty and assurance that the storm has passed, the sun is shining again, and most of all i got the lesson.
In life, its good to have plans ,in fact i believe having a plan essential for anybody who wants to be successful. However, i believe there are 2 key factors you have to include in the plan to ensure it's effective.
1. Understand that YOU are not in full control of the plan of your life. There is a higher power that has the final say in whether or not your plan will work.
2. Detach from the outcome of the plan so that u wont set yourself up to be upset. What that means in english is make a plan but don't be so attached to the results (with your expectations) that if the plan doesnt work, your world would come crashing down...
It's good to see the sun again....and i'm actually lovin dc thus far
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